I know it may not always seem like it, but it is. Just think about it. How can someone who has everything in life be miserable and yet someone that hardly has anything can be amazingly happy? It comes down to what they choose. First and foremost for me it comes down to a choice about your faith: Are you walking with God? Do you know Jesus? Do you have a relationship with him? Do you share your troubles with him? Second it comes down to picking your battles and/or picking what really matters in the grand scheme of life.
I read an article by a lady named Beverly Smallwood who actually gives seminars on this subject and she sums it up pretty well. Here is an excerpt of what she said, "Things don't always happen the way you planned. People don't always treat you the way you think you should be treated. Someone else may have more than you, though you believe you tried harder. Don't go to pity parties or get bitter every time you don't get what you think you deserve. Get out of the victim role! "Chronic victims" are a pain to others and themselves. Chronic victims are chronic blamers and complainers. When you hear yourself bemoaning your life, habitually blaming others for your troubles, it's time to do a "response-ability" check. In what ways do YOU have the ability to improve the situation by responding differently?"
I need to interject a thank you to my parents here. They introduced me to Jesus and helped foster a relationship between the two of us. And evidently they did a fantastic job of teaching me to be happy and to look at the bright side of life. Yes, there is a bright side - Always. Numerous life stories finish with - if I only knew that this worst time in my life turned out to be the best thing that happened to me.... Now I typically won't go so far as to say they were all the "best" thing that ever happened, LOL, but I totally see why they happened. My parents also provided me with a foundation of strength, confidence and support.
Let me tell you a little about my mother who died in 1999. She was diagnosed in 1978 with Systemic Scleroderma, five-year-life-expectancy. Along with this came chronic pain, physical and mental issues, severe digestive issues and the list can go on. A couple of years later her parents divorced. A couple of years after that her father died of a heart attack. A couple of years after that her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer and subsequently died from it. Along with this her in-laws (my dad's parents) were killed in a head-on car accident. Next her grandmother died - in front of her at the hospital with a DNR order. Also along the way there were the normal highs and lows of marriage, raising kids, affording kids :), etc. Then in early 1996 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The next three years were horrible. The breast cancer combined with her scleroderma made for a lethal combination. The cancer spread throughout her body and though she fought valiantly she lost. Now this brief paragraph cannot begin to tell you all about the amazing woman my mother was and that is not the purpose of this description. I tell you this to ask you what you think her attitude was during this? Now don't get me wrong, she was human - she had her moments and her crying spells and her pity parties, but in general she chose to face life strong in her faith and with happiness. She kicked the life-expectancy average in the butt and just lived. She didn't waste time on silly petty unhappiness - she had dealt with what really mattered in life and was currently fighting a battle for her own life. I mean with all that who really cared about the little things: getting cut-off on the road, the rude person at the drive-thru, the mistaken comment by a friend, your kids tantrum, etc. Her doctors all believe her choice to "live" was one of the major factors in her life going as long as it did. We all know that God had a lot to do with that as well, but so did she. Instead of throwing the gift of life back in his face with negativity she did the best she could with the cards he gave her.
After an example like that how can I go through life with a negative attitude? Plus why does the little stuff really matter? People give it to much power to control their lives. Things happen, people disappoint us, our kids act up, our husbands irritate us, we don't feel good, we're tired, money is tight... I get it, I live in that world too. But let me ask you this, how does it help to be sad/mad/etc. about it. Will the kids act better because you yell and get mad and have a pity party? Will the money problems go away because you whine about them? I believe in picking your battles and letting most stuff roll off. And my biggest pet peeve about the whole thing is let it go or do something about it. As in - have your moment, complain to your hubby, your girlfriend, your mom, your sister, whomever. Then let it go!!!!!!!!!! If you can't let it go per say, like money issues - then do something about it. Quit spending, make a budget and stick to it, etc. I am in this trap right now with my work for our business - I have been complaining about my overwhelming tower of paperwork and all the new work from hubby, but I haven't done anything about it. I'm pretty disgusted with myself for that LOL and plan to rectify that this week.
Now let me tell you, I do have a very good life. I try to walk with Jesus and although we have some issues about attending church in my family ;) we do all believe! My husband is a great man and loves me and the kids beyond measure. He works very very hard for our family and enables us to have a nice home and nice hobbies. Our son will be able to attend the private school of my choice. We have new vehicles. I can generally run out shopping (within reason) when I want. I also have a housekeeper/nanny that comes in to help me everyday. I have many friends. So yeah, I have it pretty good. But before you go thinking the grass is greener over here and want to change places let me tell you the rest. I lost all my grandparents before I was 20. I lost my mother at 26. My husband is currently in remission from Stage 4 cancer that commonly recurs. My father has just completed treatment for Stage 4 cancer and we are awaiting the "remission PET scan". My SIL's mom is currently fighting cancer and I am so cancer-freaked right now I am not being there for her. My daughter is actually my step-daughter and she has a mother :). I have major back issues and will have my 2nd surgery in August. I am in chronic pain every moment of every day. I could go on, but what is the point. It's just my life... Everybody has battles in their life, some bigger, some smaller. What matters is how you face it. I choose to face it the best I can with the best attitude I can come up with. And since I am on a first-named basis with cancer, the other things in life just don't seem like such a big deal. Know what I mean?
This has really become quite long and thanks if you've stayed with it. I will close by saying look at what truly matters in life, get over yourself, be happy and just enjoy living!!
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